There is a leadership pattern that I see come up again and again with nonprofit CEOs, and what makes it tricky is that it usually starts from a really good place, because it comes from wanting to be a kind leader, a fair leader, someone who gives people chances and believes in their potential.

But over time, if you are not careful, that instinct can quietly create real problems inside your organization.

I was working with a CEO of a educational nonprofit organization, and she found herself in this exact situation.

She had a team member—let’s call her Emma—who, on paper, was a high performer.

Emma cared deeply about the students. She showed up for the mission. She got results. And that made the situation really complicated.

Because at the same time…  was consistently disrespecting other team members.

Undermining them in conversations. Creating tension in meetings. Saying things that left people feeling dismissed or demoralized.

Now here’s the part that matters. The CEO saw it. Management complaints were issued. This wasn’t hidden. But she kept giving Emma the benefit of the doubt.

This CEO thought: “She’s just passionate.” “She cares about the work.” “I don’t want to overreact.”

And there was another layer there too – listen for this one as it’s a common pitfall for executive directors. She liked & respected Emma’s work. And the CEO wanted to be seen as a leader who was fair… and supportive… and not quick to let people go.

So Emma kept her job. Not for a month or two, but for another full year. 

And over time, something started happening across the rest of the team.

Staff members began avoiding interactions with Emma. Some started taking mental health days, not because of the workload, but because they didn’t want to deal with her. Engagement dropped. Team output dropped.

And eventually… the organization started losing good people. Not the underperformers but the ones you want to keep. And this is where I want to pause for a second. Because what was happening here was not a performance problem. It was a culture erosion problem.

One high-performing individual…quietly undercutting the environment for everyone else. And the CEO, without realizing it, was protecting the wrong person. The toll it took on organization was significant.

She was constantly managing tension. Mediating conflict. Trying to smooth things over.

Spending time and energy trying to make the situation work…Instead of addressing the root issue.

At one point in our work together, we started talking about this pattern. 

And what became clear is that this wasn’t really about Emma. 

It was about the CEO’s desire to be seen as a nice leader. To be someone who gives people chances.
Who doesn’t come down too hard. Who believes in people.

All good things. Until they start costing the rest of your team.

And this vital self-awareness was the turning point.

When she realized: By trying to protect one person…she was unintentionally letting down everyone else.

We reframed the situation in a way that changed everything for her.

Instead of asking: “How do I support this one person I personally like?” The question became: “Who am I responsible for protecting as the CEO?”

And the answer was very different. It wasn’t just the individual who was producing results.

It was the team members who were still:

This CEO’s people-pleasing nature didn’t go away. It just got redirected. 

And that’s the KEY I want you to takeaway from this episode. Building confidence isn’t about changing who you are. It’s sometimes as simple as knowing your desire to be kind and redirecting this strength into the right direction. 

Now, unfortunately, the situation didn’t resolve itself neatly. It escalated as it usually does when people derail your culture.

At one point, Emma created a safety issue that put staff members and volunteers at risk for physical harm. 

And that was the last straw the CEO could no longer ignore. The decision finally became clear. She had to let Emma go.

And when the CEO and I talked about the situation afterward, her reflection was something I hear often: “I should have addressed this much earlier.”

We’ve all been there, right? I did the same thing when I was an executive director – kept people for too long who had either proven they couldn’t be trusted, were under-performing, or negatively impacting the organization’s culture. 

Here’s something I want you to really take in.

Multiple performance improvement plans…
Repeated conversations…
Negative behavior that changes for a week, then slips right back to disrespecting others…

That’s not progress. That’s often a sign that the process is being extended beyond what’s healthy for the organization.

Here’s the confident leadership shift I want to offer you today.

If you recognize yourself in this at all…

If there’s someone on your team right now where you’re thinking:

“This isn’t quite working, but I’m trying to make it work…”

I want you to pause and ask: “Who is paying the price for my delay in addressing this?”

Because it’s usually not just you paying the price in wasted time trying to get the other person to behave in a way that honors your values.

Your team, culture, and mission all suffer in the end. 

Confident nonprofit CEOs don’t avoid hard decisions to stay likable. They make aligned decisions to protect what matters most. 

And that doesn’t mean becoming harsh. In this situation, this leader took to heart a new motto that’s guided her people decisions everyday since – Clear is Kind.

Clear about your standards. Clear about your responsibility. Clear about the kind of environment you’re building.

And here’s what was really interesting. The biggest shift wasn’t just that the tension went away.

It was that the team started to respect her again as a leader.

Now, respect isn’t rebuilt overnight, because when a leader holds onto the wrong person for too long, there’s usually some lingering resentment. People have been carrying that stress, figuring out how to work around it, protect themselves, or just get through the day.

But within about a month or two, you could feel the shift.

The team was lighter. Happier. More engaged. And a lot more productive. 

This CEO called me not long after and said something I’ll never forget.

She said: “Our day-to-day lives feel completely different. My team feels relieved. Everything is running so smoothly… I almost feel like I’m sitting on my hands. What am I supposed to do with my time now?”

And we both laughed. Because what she had been doing before…wasn’t actually CEO-level work.

It was firefighting. Managing daily tension & conflict. Holding together something that wasn’t working.

And now? Now she finally had the space to do the work she had been wanting to do all along:

You see – Most leaders think letting someone go will create disruption. But what they don’t always see is:

👉 Keeping the wrong person creates far more disruption. 

If you found yourself thinking about a specific person while listening to this episode…That’s probably not an accident.

This situation is a common one, and it’s going to test your resolve everytime. It helps to have support from a mentor, coach, or peer group. Getting the support you deserve can be a lifeline for you to stop second-guessing yourself and gain confidence. This is exactly how I help nonprofit organizations in my Culture CARES Accelerator program. 

Remember, you have more agency than you think when it comes to building a healthy culture and unifying your teams.

In the next episode, we’re going to talk about what happens when that tension shows up in a different direction—when your board disagrees with you.

And how confident nonprofit CEOs navigate that without losing their footing. If this episode resonated with you, you’ll probably really enjoy being part of my newsletter community of mission-driven leaders.

You’ll get practical insights like this, plus resources and early access to new episodes.

You can head to CultureCARES.com and download the free guide: 4 Strategies for Nonprofit Leaders to Reduce Burnout, Unify Your Team, and Build a Culture That Lasts.

And as we continue this series, my goal is to help you not just feel more confident as a leader…but make decisions, in line with your kind, thoughtful nature, that strengthen your team and your organization over time.

TOPIC: Design an Inclusive Culture, Lead with Confidence, Podcast, Set Boundaries, Unify Your Teams