Welcome back to the Board-CEO Partnership Series.
I’m Marcia Beckner, founder of Culture CARES. In this series we’re walking through the CARES framework to help boards and CEOs-EDs build stronger partnerships that ultimately create healthier nonprofit organizations.
Last episode, we talked about Commitment and Appreciation, 2 key levers to building a successful board partnership.
It begins with a shared commitment to the mission, shared accountability to each other, and a true appreciation for one another’s expertise.
Today we’re talking about the R in CARES: Respect.
But maybe not in the way you think.
I’m going to put a little spin on it.
Most people define respect as being polite, listening to one another, or treating people professionally.
Those things certainly matter.
But in my experience, the deepest form of respect between a board and a CEO is something much more practical.
Respect is demonstrated through role clarity.
It’s knowing where Board governance ends and CEO management begins, and having enough trust to let each one do the job they’ve been hired or elected to do.
Let me tell you a cautionary tale which happens all over our sector.
When Good Intentions Create Unintended Consequences
A few years ago, I began coaching an Executive Director who had stepped into a really challenging organization.
She had been in the role for about three months.
Smart. Experienced. Thoughtful.
The board was excited to hire her because they believed she could transform the organization into its next chapter of growth and expansion.
But there was one problem no one had anticipated.
Many staff members had long-standing personal relationships with members of the board.
They had worked together for years before this new Executive Director arrived.
So when someone becomes frustrated…
Instead of talking with their supervisor…
Instead of bringing concerns directly to the Executive Director…
They called a board member.
Sometimes it was about workload.
Sometimes they complained about the culture.
Sometimes they simply said they didn’t like a decision the Executive Director had made.
Now here’s where things became incredibly difficult.
The board members cared deeply about the organization.
They wanted to help.
So they listened.
They asked questions.
They empathized.
Sometimes those conversations lasted an hour.
Sometimes they happen repeatedly.
But they rarely included the Executive Director.
The board wasn’t intentionally trying to undermine her.
They thought they were simply gathering information.
The problem is that they were only hearing one side of the story.
And once you’ve heard one emotional version of events, it’s very difficult not to begin forming assumptions.
Meanwhile, the Executive Director had no idea these conversations were happening.
Instead of leading her staff, she found herself managing rumors, assumptions, and concerns that had already traveled through several board members before they ever reached her.
Imagine trying to lead an organization under those circumstances.
Every difficult staffing decision became political.
Every accountability conversation risked becoming a board discussion.
Instead of employees looking upward to their leader, they began looking around her.
The chain of leadership quietly disappeared.
Within about a year, that Executive Director resigned.
Not because she lacked leadership ability.
Not because she couldn’t manage people.
But because the board had unintentionally made it impossible for her to lead.
Sadly, this isn’t an isolated story.
I see versions of it all the time.
Governance Is Not Management
One of the greatest responsibilities of a governing board is hiring an exceptional CEO or Executive Director.
But here’s the question I often ask boards:
If you’ve trusted someone enough to hire them…do you trust them enough to lead and manage the org?
Those are two very different things.
Governance is not management.
The board governs the organization.
The CEO manages the organization.
That distinction sounds obvious until emotions enter the picture.
A board member receives a phone call.
A staff member says they’re unhappy.
Someone shares concerns after a committee meeting.
A volunteer has an opinion.
Suddenly the board feels pressure to solve the problem.
But here’s the reality.
When board members begin coaching staff…
Investigating personnel issues…
Giving direction to employees…
Or becoming the emotional sounding board for staff frustrations…
They unintentionally weaken the authority of the very leader they’ve hired.
Even when everyone has good intentions.
Now, let me add one important caveat.
Of course there are exceptions.
If there are allegations of harassment, discrimination, fraud, abuse, unethical behavior, or serious misconduct by the CEO, absolutely the board has both the authority and responsibility to investigate.
Those situations are different.
But that’s not what I’m talking about today.
Most situations involve ordinary leadership challenges.
An employee doesn’t like change.
Someone disagrees with a decision.
A supervisor holds people accountable.
The workload feels heavy.
Those are management issues.
They belong within the leadership structure—not around it.
Otherwise, employees quickly learn that if they don’t like an answer from their supervisor or CEO, they simply escalate it to a friendly board member.
That’s not healthy governance.
It’s organizational triangulation.
And triangulation destroys trust.
A Practical Exercise for Your Board
One of the healthiest practices I’ve seen is creating a very clear escalation pathway.
Everyone knows where concerns go.
Employees speak with their supervisor first.
If needed, they move to the Executive Director.
The Executive Director involves the board when governance oversight is appropriate.
That creates consistency.
Fairness.
And accountability.
It also protects employees because concerns are handled through an established process rather than through informal conversations.
So here’s a practical exercise I’d encourage every board and CEO to complete together.
Draw three columns on a whiteboard.
Board Responsibilities.
CEO Responsibilities.
Shared Responsibilities.
Then begin listing actual decisions your organization makes.
Who hires and evaluates the CEO?
The board.
Who hires staff?
The CEO.
Who approves the annual budget?
The board.
Who develops the budget?
The CEO and leadership team.
Who responds when an employee disagrees with a workplace decision?
The CEO.
Who monitors organizational culture?
Both—but in different ways.
You’ll probably discover several areas where expectations aren’t actually aligned.
That’s okay.
Better to discover that in a retreat than during a crisis.
Closing Reflection
I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Brené Brown:
“Clarity is kindness.”
The clearer your roles become, the more trust grows.
The more trust grows, the less people feel the need to overstep.
And that’s what respect really looks like.
Not control.
Not distance.
Not silence.
Respect is trusting one another enough to stay in your lane while fully supporting each other in the mission.
Next episode we’ll talk about Engagement—and why attending every board meeting doesn’t necessarily mean your board is truly engaged.
Thanks so much for listening, and remember…
Healthy board-CEO partnerships don’t happen by accident. They happen by design.