Let me ask you this: have you ever had a staff member who seemed great on paper, or even had moments of brilliance, but behind the scenes, their toxic behavior slowly drained the energy out of your whole team?
Maybe you found yourself thinking, “If I just give them one more chance, maybe this time it will stick.”
Today, we’re exploring what happens when those second, third, and fourth chances start working against you. Because sometimes, the real damage isn’t just in what the employee does, it’s in the ripple effect their behavior has on everyone else.
People call in sick. Morale tanks. The culture you’ve worked so hard to build starts to quietly erode.
In this episode, I’ll share the story of Claire, a healthcare nonprofit leader, whose year-long struggle with one employee pushed her staff to the breaking point. It’s a story full of drama, fallout, and ultimately relief, and it might sound uncomfortably familiar.
We’ve all been there, right?
If you’ve ever wrestled with the tension between being kind and being firm, this story could shift everything. And thanks to Disney, I’ll give you a reframe that can help you feel better when it’s time to let someone go.
Before I share the story about Claire, I want to take you back in time to set up the episode.
I grew up in Anaheim, CA, right down the street from Disneyland, and of course I worked there in high school.
What an amazing first job. I learned from the best about customer service and how Disney intentionally designs the happiest place on earth.
We weren’t just employees, we were cast members. Guests weren’t just customers, they were part of the show.
I worked at the Enchanted Tiki Room, the infamous animatronic bird show at Disneyland. My job was to open the performance by tapping on the Macaw’s perch above me and announce, “Wake up, José, our guests have arrived!”
The bird and I would banter for 20 seconds before the theater would come alive with music, lights, and musical birds.
“In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room…” this entertaining 20-minute show filled the theater with Polynesian fun and delighted everyone inside.
Now, the costume I wore was embarrassing for 16-year old me. Imagine a long polyester bright yellow and orange muumuu, with black tennis shoes. Yes, that was me. But even that couldn’t take away the joy of being part of something bigger.
Culture mattered there. Every cast member, no matter their role, was expected to help create the magic.
So, how does Disneyland tie into nonprofit culture? We will get there.
But first, let me tell you about Claire, a healthcare nonprofit ED who had a nurse on her staff. Let’s call her Mary. On the surface, Mary looked like a solid employee. She loved her patients, and they liked her too. But over time, her behavior toward colleagues became the real issue. She was condescending, dismissive, and disrespectful. Nurses started calling in sick just to avoid her.
Claire did what many of us would do. She created a Performance Improvement Plan, clearly laying out expectations: respect your colleagues, collaborate, treat people with dignity. Mary improved, but only for a few weeks.
Then the old habits crept back. Claire gave her another 60-day PIP, and again, Mary improved temporarily. But soon, the disrespect returned, and this time Mary even withheld critical safety information that could have endangered patients. Thankfully, a doctor caught it before disaster struck.
After two PIPs and a major safety violation, Claire had no choice but to let Mary go.
The fallout? Mary had two close friends on the team. One quit immediately in solidarity, and the other threatened to. Claire feared she had just made everything worse.
But then something surprising happened. The rest of the team felt lighter. Relief swept through the staff. No more dread, no more walking on eggshells. Even though they were short-staffed for a bit, morale and trust started to rebuild.
Here’s where the Disney lessons connect–patterns matter more than moments.
At Disney, the show had to go on every time. One cast member who consistently broke the magic couldn’t be hidden. Mary’s pattern of disrespect was like a cast member breaking character in front of guests.
Culture is contagious. At Disneyland, everything was designed to make cast members feel part of the magic because how employees felt shaped how guests felt. Mary’s negativity worked the same way, but in reverse.
Personal liking is not professional fit. Claire kept giving Mary chances because she liked her personally, much like a Disney manager might keep someone who’s fun backstage but unprofessional onstage. But likability isn’t the same as reliability, respect, or safety.
Delayed decisions drain energy. At Disney, if a cast member didn’t perform, the show couldn’t stall. Leaders had to act quickly. Nonprofits are no different. The mission can’t wait for one person’s drama.
Claire later told me she regretted letting things drag out for a year. But she also realized something powerful: by holding on too long, she wasn’t being kind. She was being unfair to everyone else.
And this is where the Disney wisdom comes back in. When Disney lets someone go, they often say they are helping them find their magic somewhere else. I love that. Because if someone is consistently disruptive or resistant, chances are they aren’t finding their magic with you anyway.
Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is help them discover where they actually belong. If this perspective shift works at the happiest place on earth, it can work for us too.
Finally, let’s ground into reality.
As CEOs & Executive Directors, we not only need to protect culture, we need to protect our organizations from legal and reputational risk.
6 steps to help when dealing with toxic staff behavior:
1. Document specific behaviors, not vague attitudes.
Instead of writing “Mary has a bad attitude,” describe what actually happened. For example: “On June 12, Mary raised her voice at a colleague in front of patients” or “Three staff members called in sick on days scheduled with Mary.” Stick to facts, dates, and observable actions. This keeps the conversation grounded in behavior rather than personality.
2. Tie behaviors directly to organizational impact.
Go beyond what the person did and explain how it affects the mission, the team, or safety. For example: “When Mary withheld information about the new protocol, staff safety was compromised and patient care was at risk.” This shows the issue isn’t personal; it’s about protecting people and the organization’s goals.
3. Communicate expectations clearly and measurably.
Vague language like “be nicer” or “improve teamwork” sets no one up for success. Instead, spell out concrete expectations: “No raised voices toward colleagues,” “All safety updates must be communicated within 24 hours,” or “Arrive on time for every shift for the next 30 days.” This way the employee knows exactly what’s required to improve.
4. Provide a fair timeline and opportunity for improvement.
A Performance Improvement Plan should outline how long the employee has to demonstrate consistent progress. 30-90 days are common. During that time, offer coaching, check-ins, and resources to help them succeed. If you’ve documented the support offered, you can show the organization acted fairly.
5. Follow your policies consistently.
Consistency is your best protection against claims of unfair treatment. If your handbook says two PIPs before termination, follow it. If it allows immediate termination for a major safety violation, enforce it. Applying the same process across all staff prevents accusations of favoritism or bias.
6. Consult HR or legal before making the final call.
Before termination, especially if the employee has long tenure, close friendships at work, or a history of complaints, get a second set of eyes. HR, your legal counsel, or your board’s HR committee can confirm that your documentation is complete and your process aligns with policy. That extra step reduces the risk of legal backlash or reputational harm.
Claire’s story reminds us that holding on to the wrong person for too long doesn’t just hurt the individual, it drains the whole team, erodes culture, and distracts from the mission.
Leadership isn’t about endless chances.
It’s about protecting the people who are showing up with energy and care.
So here’s the reframe: sometimes letting someone go isn’t cruel, it’s kind. If an employee isn’t finding alignment with your culture and values, then how are they truly impacting your mission and community?
Spark Plug Shift
Think of one person on your team who feels more like a drain than a fit. Instead of asking, “How do I keep them?” try asking, “Would they be happier and more successful somewhere else?”
Write down what it would free up for you, your team, and your mission if you embraced that perspective.
That one small shift in thinking might be the first step to protecting your peace and helping your team member find their magic somewhere else.